royally fucked

I should be absolutely stoked tonight. Hannah lights up my world. Funny thing is that I stay in a perennial state of negativity. I'm one of those people who's so pessimistic that I think I don't even have a glass to be half empty. What does one do about that? How on earth do I change? How do I make a step foreword into positive thinking? Maybe fixing my life would be a good start, but I'm beginning to thing that it has more to do with me and my attitude than it does my exceptionally pointless existence. There is something beyond circumstances that dictates my failed attitude...something beyond my failed life. Sure I've fucked up more good opportunities than anyone my age has right to, but if, and only if, I could man up and stop acting like a silly bitch, then maybe I could stop being such a worthless leech and make something of myself. I could be doing so many great things. Instead I sleep in 'till 2:00 p.m., wasting away my not-so-precious life. I am a fucking wonder of loser...ness. But truly there is some sort of salvation to my lazy, negative, down right shitty ways? And the pessimist in me says--you guessed it-- no. The lazy person in me says there is, but I'm not bloody working that hard to control myself. So my final thought is that I have no way to fix myself. I'm a boat without a hull, a beer without a glass, [tobacco] without a pipe, blood without a vein, man with out a dick (i.e. brain)...okay, you get the idea. The truth is, I'm royally fuckered up for the future. And it's all my fault.