new steps/old steps

I've had so many things I could write about, and so many oportunities to express my heart, soul and mind. For some reason I haven't even felt the desire to so, feeling like in the end all my complaining is for nothing. All my negative energy that I pour into my writing doesn't really cleanse me at all. In fact, the truth is it does absolutely nothing. My head hurts from thinking all the fucking time, but it won't matter if I write about it all. I can't even seem to write fast enough for my thoughts anyway. Philosophical bullshit is no longer what I'm going to be writing. I don't know what I will write... I doubt I can reduce myself to a reporter of my own life. I'm far too negative for that. I'm going to be on the verge of a new life, and hopefully a new self. Let's not fuck this one up Drew, like the last few tries... please...