over

After all these days, all the experiences, all the pain, joy....all of it.... I think it's finally all over. All of it. I think I've kissed her for the last time. My life is crumbling before my very eyes. My heart has sunken down so far it's numb. My emotions have cried down my face, and I have nothing left. Nothing. Nothing in this world joys me- no prospects, no future, I am left with nothing in my hands. And yet, I realize that the crying and tears are not yet gone. I have jumped in so far that without her I can't think, breath, or even realize that my life is practically over.

Sex. I hate it.
Love. I loathe it.
Heartache. I don't even feel it anymore.
Tears. They've dried out.
Tears. They'll come back.
Women. They end up hurting me.
Females. They always end up crushing me.
Me. I crush myself.
Life. I wish it was gone. It's disgusting.
Me. I hate myself.

I hate everything.
The bridge is burning down.

Laughing. It sends chills up and down my spine.
Joy. It churns my stomache. It never stays. It is vicious.
Me. I chase all that is worth having into oblivion.
Oblivion. I wish I could find it.
Woman. They are the key to heavenly hell.
Dreams. They don't ever happen.
Tears. They are constant.
Loser. That's me.
Bacardi 151. It is my only comfort.
Comfort. It doesn't exist.
Sadness. It's my constant.
Depression. Another constant.
Consistancy. It's a bunch of bullshit in any positive respect.
Love. I hate it. I want to kill it. I want to spill its guts all over the pavement. I want to end it's every breath.
Dana. I love her.
Dana. She'll kill me.
Love. It's a vicious circle. I hate it.

Hatred. It is consuming me.
Hatred. I want to hold onto it, but I can't even have that.

Fuck it all. My life is over.