One Moment

It's not him... Bryce is not the problem. His wine is not the problem. I hate what I've become, and I hate what I need. I hate that I need someone that is not going to be here to hold me in spite of my insecurities. I hate that I'm beginning to rely on alcohol to hide my pain in loneliness. I hate that I'm a fucking loser half the day, and the other half I'm bitter. And I'm bitter only at myself. I'm bitter that I'm here, not there. Not in North Carolina. Not with the only one who makes me whole. The only one who completes me. The only one who makes me a better person. When the day is done, and I look back, the fact is that my day was bleak. The fact is that it's incomplete until I can share that day with my one and only. The fact is I can't/won't be happy without her. If I could hold her the need for breath would dissapate to nothing. I would need nothing else, and my soul would be whole. And that would feel so good, if only just for one moment.