I've lost so much in my life.  I get used to something being there, and then it gets pulled from under me.  I'm getting tired of it, and I'm afraid that Dana will get taken from me as well.  She is wonderful, and somehow I always test her.  I put her through shit to see how much she cares for me.  It's not really fair but I do it.  She is not perfect, and I'd be a fool to hold her on that level.  But she is wonderful, sexy, sensual, cute, kind, caring and so dedicated to me.  But I still feel a certain amount of undeniable fear that someone will come by and swipe her up and away from me while we're on other ends of the country.  The thing is I wouldn't be pissed if it made her happier.