slowly fading

Well, my bro's wedding was on Saturday. It was absolutely beautiful, just like them. I don't remember the last time I had such a pure, natural high of joy. And as the feeling starts to slip away, I feel sad. This is the only wedding like this I'll ever experience. I feel the need to write it down, though I know I'll never forget it. Being best man at the best wedding I've ever been to with the best couple I've ever seen is quite an honor. Everyone there were close friends and family...all 160 of them, and the people in the wedding were even closer. I know without a doubt that Ryan and Greta will make it. Their vows were meant, and they will live the duration of their lives. That's what makes it so perfect. I wish I could relive it one more time, sitting at the table of honor, next to my brother and his new wife, nervous to the point of feeling sick about making a toast about two people that amaze me. This sadness I feel is because I don't think I'll ever get to experience this feeling of immense celebration again. Never will I be near the center of a circle of such joyous people again. I miss the shit out of my brother He have lived in different states for years, and now he lives in the same town, but he is so far away. Even so, I know he is with a wonderful woman, and that is enough. I'm not even envious of them. It has just put a flickering light in the back of my mind that I may want something that I am sure I won't find. Not that I won't get married, but I question if I will ever find the quality relationship they share. Or perhaps I won't be able to maintain it like the have and will. But if I know anything, the one thing I know is that Ryan and Greta are pretty people inside and out, but together they are absolutely beautiful and near perfect. I wish I could live forever in the joy of that day.