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I'm so sleep deprived. I'm just wasting away my life into fucking worthless oblivion. And for some reason I get the feeling that this is the top. It's not going to get better than this. This is the peak of my life. It'll be downhill after this emotionally fucked up plateu. It's 4a.m. and the most significant part of my day is the nightly trip for grit at Denny's. That's messed up. And still, I figure this is the top. Strangly nothing ever gets better like I thought it would when I was younger. .....................................