mi fa male

I lost myself in misery today. I wrapped myself in sadness and infinite melancholy. I embraced pain. But I resisted tears. I denied my eyes what they wanted. I said no. For once I said no, and meant it. I followed through. The pain comes from what I know I must do, though I do not want to do it. It comes from walking away from all that I love and care for, though I can't grasp why. I must hurt myself, but mainly a girl that touches my heart in a way I never knew. Though she doesn't understand, I know that I must do it. And so I deny myself tears. I deny the desire to run back, because I know that that, however close to my heart it was, is over. That we, or what we were, exist no more. So I walk alone. Hurting most of all because the girl I hurt, and the promises I broke. It is these things that I will never heal from. Our ring will never leave my right hand.