I FEEL GREAT!

Sounds from Ray Charles and Ella Fitzgerald ripple in my ear... it's cold outside, and I should go to bed. I'm in a chill mood. And It's cold outside. I really should go to bed.

I miss my baby. It's been since 6.30 am that I've seen her. But it's cold outside and it's raining. I really, really should go to bed. Music is going to cause pain in the A.M. I don't have any more cigarettes. Whisky has already made its dent. It has caused its damage. And I really, really, really should go to bed. But I probably won't.

Life is like the smoke dripping from a cig. It's there, pouring away from the cancerous stick, and it is so beautiful. It dances away from it so seductively, but it always dissapears, no matter how small the room. I try to trap it, and I try desperately to catch it, to contain it, to keep it to myself, but such as life is; I can't. Such is life.

Such is life. Try to control it with all your might.... you'll still fuck up big. Hehehe... I know I can't control it. Just when you get a grasp on it [life] you realize its got a grasp on you. You're bent over the table getting fucked. So why not just enjoy the Royal Butt Fuck that you're getting?? Might as fucking well...

And then, just as I don't expect it, the next song comes on, and I realize that I am so controlled by the music. It brings on old emotions, true emotions, emotions that I didn't plan on... God she's so beautiful to me. To me. I cherish her so much. Her every essence, her every tear. I love her smile, her pout. She is so fucking precious... And HOLLY shit she is so good in bed :) !!!! She's got the magic cooch! I love you baby!!!

So pretty much I'm drunk, and my baby didn't call me back... and she's on my mind. I'm feeling all alone. I wish I had something to pass the painful time. Time is quite painfull, really. I miss her eyes, her smile. I know that I won't have peacefull dreams, though they all lead back to her in the end. It's this sweet song that keeps her on my mind. There's a rhythm that echoes in my head that reminds me of her tender touch. I guess in the end I am a pathetic romatic. I am a writer without a song, and without a story. Shit...the sorrow.

So in the end I hear...'How do you feel?' in the background.... "WELL SHIT! I FEEL GREAT!"