Thoughtless without an atom left

I'm fighting off feelings that are painful to grasp. Pain, resentment, denial, rejection... I feel like I'm being duped. I'm feeling mistreated and defeated. I have no more fight left in me. I'm sorry that things have come to this point, but my dreams, passions and loves don't seem to go in the same direction. So I'm alone. Sorrow sets in. Tears. And now it is all turning to anger. If I could fuck up existence, I'd kill it. Nothing would be left. I would tear it to fucking pieces, leaving nothing but nothingness. I'd rape and pillage reality. I would shatter the foundations of everything that we know, every little atom would be gone. Every sense of being would be destroyed. And then I could rest knowing nothing is left. Nothing. Not one thought, one emotion, not one particle, nor even an atom.